More Together
by oldmule
Summary: He bit his lip and kept his silence. She was wrong, every word she said was wrong. Would he be able to keep his silence. No, he would not.  Post 9.1 angst that takes a definite turn towards the fluffy, in fact very fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

**Post 9.1. See what you think? Short and bitter.

* * *

**

"Ruth," Harry called her into his office, it was late, the grid was quiet.

She stood across from his desk and waited.

"Ruth what you said, it's bollocks."

"I'm sorry?"

"We can be more together. Of course we can. You're making excuses. Admit it, at least to yourself, if not to me."

"Harry?"

"If you think this no man's land at work is living, if you think this is the totality of what we are and what we can be then you are, as I said, talking bollocks."

She stood, mouth slightly agape and said nothing.

"If you want to go now, you can, I just needed to say it," he said.

"You've said it Harry, loud and clear. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to get off your chest while you're in the mood!" she was angry.

"Yes, while we're at it. I love you. It's not going to change, it hasn't for the last seven years so I'm sure it won't now, even though you're blatantly not interested. Just so you know. Just so there's no doubt. Just so that you can't stick your head in the sand about that one."

He was angry.

"Well, now we've got that straight!" she said and headed for the door.

"Yes, thank you Ruth, glad we're so together," his tone was bitter, sardonic, hurt.

"Night," she said and left. She hated the way he was. She hated this.


	2. Chapter 2

He immediately regretted it.

Had it come to this.

Had it taken her refusal to make him say the thing that had always been left unsaid.

Had he taken leave of his senses.

A proposal in a graveyard.

An admission of love in the midst of an argument.

Bitterness from desire.

Ire from need.

Hate from love.

* * *

She regretted not finding the right words.

She regretted letting him have his say without come back.

She regretted all the smart witty, stinging things she could have said.

She regretted everything that had happened that day.

His question.

Her answer.

His reaction.

Her explanation.

She regretted that scene in his office.

But she did not know how to act right now, she did not know how to _react_ right now.

So she sat.

At home.

Alone.

Lonely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry in short chapter mode!**

* * *

The morning briefing and they could not have been more apart. On opposite sides of the table and at opposite ends.

They didn't look at one other and they found it easy not to address the other.

They wondered if the rest of the team would notice but then again they didn't' really care.

They noticed.

They noticed something, They noticed a discomfort in the air, they noticed a distance in the air, they noticed an unhappiness in the air.

"Harry, what's going on with you and Ruth?'

"Do your job, Lucas and don't worry about my private life."

"I didn't refer to your private life, I referred to you and Ruth."

"Work, private life, it's all the same and no different," muttered Harry.

"Then perhaps it should be, maybe that's the problem."

"Lucas, close the door on your way out."

Lucas did.

Harry was alone with his desires once more.

* * *

"Ruth, if there's anything you'd like to talk about then…." Tariq tailed off.

"Such as?"

"Well, you know, anything at all."

"You mean Harry?"

"Anything really."

"Tea, Tariq?"

"Yes, thanks."

And Ruth walked out to the kitchen, alone with her regrets once more.

* * *

I**t must get easier, it must get fluffier - surely! Yes surely, when I figure out how and why.**


	4. Chapter 4

Harry had the bottle it his hand. It was 10.30. It was a bad sign. He put it down again and resolved upon a coffee instead.

She was there in the kitchen, her back to him. He stood and said nothing as she filled the kettle and turned it on, gathering cups and teabags and milk. He thought he should turn and go but he did not, he thought he should apologise but he did not. He just watched her and something about the simple act of her making tea soothed him. No, he thought, it wasn't that it soothed him, it was that it gave him the opportunity to lose himself in what ifs, to lose himself in the thought that she was making tea for him, first thing in the morning after waking up together, that thought soothed him, soothed him and hurt him, for it was clearly a wish he alone had.

"Do you want something Harry?" she asked without turning, surprising him. She had been watching him through the reflection of the kettle.

"Coffee," was all he managed.

She reached for another cup and began opening the coffee jar. She knew how he liked his coffee. For a moment he was lost once more.

They waited for the kettle to take its eternity to boil, no more words were spoken. She poured his first and stirred it.

"There you are." She did not hand it to him. She did not turn. She did not seem to want to look at him at all. He stepped forward into the small space and reached for the cup, he did not move away he simply stood half turned to her and looked at her. Her concentrated face was focused on the tea and not him but she felt him, she felt his desire and she felt his need, it was hanging in the air like a storm waiting to break.

"Ruth," he said softly.

She hesitated and finally looked at him.

And they stood. Him with a boiling coffee in his hand, her with a teaspoon and they looked at each other, unblinkingly, silently, wanting to say so much and saying nothing. His breathing was heavy, the storm felt even closer.

"What do you want from me?" whispered Ruth.

"Everything," he said.

She broke the connection. He turned and left.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know it's all very angsty and I am trying to work towards fluff but they're in a dark place at the moment but hopefully with this chapter we are on the way.**

**

* * *

**

Dimitri was doing battle with a printer, as Tariq passed, "What's up?"

"Everything!" snapped Dimitri, tearing a partially shredded piece of paper from the feeder tray.

Ruth felt Harry look up from his desk. She caught his eye. Everything.

"Calm down and give it here," said Tariq and took over.

Dimitri sighed and looked up apologetically, glad Lucas were not there to see him lose his temper so easily, he was proving a hard enough man to impress at the best of times. He looked at Ruth instead but her gaze was fixed on Harry's office. He looked into Harry's office. Harry's gaze was fixed on Ruth.

"Is there something between those two?" whispered Dimitri to Tariq.

"Kind of"

"Kind of?"

"Don't ask me, Dimitri. I doubt they can explain it, let alone me."

* * *

They sat in the second briefing of the day. Lucas had new information.

For all the crises, for all the bomb threats and national emergencies Tariq thought the Grid had never had such a heavy and tense atmosphere. He wondered if it was the result of Ros's death hanging over them, that or the storm clouds that seemed to be hovering around Harry this morning.

Dimitri was new, he assumed this was how it always was.

Lucas had finished his briefing and was letting Ruth pick up with her analysis of the current situation in Libya. She had largely avoided Harry and instead addressed the others. She finished.

"Is that everything, Ruth?" asked Lucas.

"For now."

"Everything" said Harry, pointedly.

She looked at him challengingly and he held her gaze, forcing her, daring her not to look away from him this time.

"You two should really get a room," laughed Dimitri.

Lucas and Tariq looked at him and he began to realise rather quickly that maybe he'd said the wrong thing.

Harry glared at him.

Ruth turned accusingly, "What are you suggesting, Dimitri?"

"Erm, nothing, just thought that…." He saw Lucas's expression and decided to say nothing more.

Finally Harry spoke, "so we'll be needing a presence in Libya, you're it Mr Levendes, you can leave tonight, see you next week," he walked from the room adding before he left, "if you manage to survive that long."

* * *

"Should Dimitri be the one going to Libya?" asked Lucas.

"Why not?"

"We can use someone from six who's already in place and knows the people."

"And?"

"And that would be more useful."

"No."

Lucas swallowed his next words and slid the door closed.

* * *

"Harry, you're punishing Dimitri and sending him into something for no good reason."

"Ruth, may I ask who makes the operational decisions around here?"

"You do."

"I do" he said and stopped and looked away, his mind suddenly elsewhere.

Ruth was not unaware, but she ploughed on.

"You're wrong."

"Yes, well, I seem to be rather a lot at the moment, don't I?."

"Harry, stop bringing this back to us."

"Us, Ruth, us!" his voice was raised as he stood from his chair, "there is no us."

"No, nor is there likely to be if this is how you behave."

"I'm behaving like this because I don't know how else to behave. You want me to get drunk, you want me to cry, you want me to be satisfied and move on. What is it that you want from me , Ruth?"

"I want you to see sense and use six instead of Dimitri, I want you to behave like a bloody adult and I want you to leave me alone."

She walked from the office.

"Ruth!" the harshness of his words stopped her at the door.

"How did it come to this?" he asked.

She didn't have an answer.

* * *

"Dimitri, don't bother packing," said Harry as he walked across the grid.

"Use six," he added to Lucas and then he walked into the pods and was gone.

"What is wrong with him today?" asked Tariq.

"He's hurting," said Ruth quietly.

* * *

He stood watching the river flow by, elbows leant on the wall.

He felt a presence next to him and did not need to look to know it was her.

He was surprised she had come out to him.

"I thought you wanted to be left alone?" he said blankly.

"I was angry."

"So was I."

"I'm sorry.

"So am I."

They still had not looked at each other. The river held them hypnotised. He sighed.

"We've been something and yet nothing for so long Ruth. I felt a sudden certainty of what I wanted and a willingness to reach out for it. I'm sorry my timing was so bad but after so long I couldn't wait anymore."

"You gave me no warning."

"Carpe diem, Ruth."

She half smiled.

"You said there were thousands of times you would have said yes," he whispered.

"There were."

"Could there never be just one more?"

"I don't know, Harry."

"My intention was right when I asked but my words were all wrong."

"Please don't, please don't say anymore."

"No, I have to, you can't stop me this time. You owe me that."

She said no more. His words were to her but he aimed them at the river.

"I want to marry you, Ruth, because I love you. I want to marry you because you are the only one I want, the only one I've ever really wanted. There'll be no one else in what remains of the time I have and if I have to be alone then that's fine, but if I have any choices left in this life, if I deserve any chance in this life then you are my choice and you are my chance.

You asked me what I wanted from you and I said everything. I do. I want everything. No half measures, no part time romance, no separation of the work from the private. All, Ruth, all or nothing, that's what I'm saying. We can be all or nothing."

He turned to her, stroked her cheek with the tenderest of gestures, lay bare his heart before her.

"And that's your choice," he added and then he turned away back to the grid.


	6. Chapter 6

All or nothing.

Everything.

Or

Nothing.

There had always been something. What it was exactly, no one including them could put their finger on. But it was something.

Ruth had been happy enough with something.

Ruth had been afraid of anything that was more than something.

But now something wasn't good enough.

Now it was everything.

Or

Nothing.

The idea of nothing on the grid, no moments, no intimacies, no closeness, no togetherness.

More together, not less.

Not nothing. She didn't want nothing.

But everything!

How could you go from something to everything?

Harry could. Easily, it seemed.

Could she?

Dare she?

That or nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry sat at his desk.

He had gambled. He had done it from desperation and now he sat wondering if he had possibly gambled his life away.

The thought of nothing, Ruth and nothing in the same sentence was truly as good as throwing his life away.

But he could not survive 'something' any longer.

And so he sat and waited and watched as she returned to her desk, he watched her sit, he watched her turn to the files before her.

The door slid open.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean to upset you, or anything."

It was Dimitri.

"Upset me?"

"Earlier when I said about getting a room. I didn't mean anything by it, it's just that I thought there was something between you and Ruth. And I know it's not my business and I'm new and I should just keep my mouth shut and…"

"Dimitri," Harry interrupted him, "go away."

"Yes Harry."

The door slid shut.

"Ruth, could you look at these for me?" asked Lucas.

"Ruth."

"Ruth…?

"Sorry, Lucas, did you say something?"

"These, would you look at them for me."

"Yes, yes of course, leave them there."

"Thanks, oh and Ruth,"

"Yes, Lucas."

"Whatever's going on, it needs resolving."

She looked at him, "I know," she said and turned back to the computer.

Harry's computer binged.

He turned to his mailbox, one new message.

He saw the sender and he looked across the grid, she was hidden behind her screen.

He opened it.

_**FROM**: **Ruth Evershed**_

**_SUBJECT: Your directive._**

**_TO: Harry Pearce_**

**_I can't face nothing._**

Harry held his breath began his reply.

**_FROM: Harry Pearce_**

**_SUBJECT: RE: Your directive._**

**_TO: Ruth Evershed_**

**_Which means?_**

He waited and watched her, she began to type, still partially hidden from view.

At that moment Tariq joined her and began to show her some surveillance photographs.

"TARIQ!" Harry screamed from his office. Tariq, alarmed headed straight for Harry' s office. The door slid open.

"Yes, Harry," said Tariq.

Harry's computer binged once more.

"Nothing," said Harry and waved his hand for him to go away.

He turned to the screen.

**_FROM: Ruth Evershed_**

**_SUBJECT: RE: RE: Your directive._**

**_TO: Harry Pearce_**

**_Eveything._**

At that moment it was though Atlas himself had lifted the weight of the world from Harry's shoulders.

Ruth sat at her desk, hiding herself behind her screen, nervous, afraid, apprehensive, excited and a thousand other adjectives. She heard his reply.

**_FROM: Harry Pearce_**

**_SUBJECT; RE: RE: RE: Your directive._**

**_TO: Ruth Evershed_**

**_You need to check your grammar, Ruth. " I can't face nothing"_**

**_- a double negative._**

**_And by the way, it does mean everything. It means everything to me._**

**_H._**

Ruth smiled and wondered just what the hell would happen next.

* * *

**Weather forecasting fluff ahead.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the splendid reviews, too busy satisfying your requests for updates to reply to them, but they are read, appreciated and treasured. Now a turn towards the fluffier.

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**

As the day drew on Ruth was feeling increasingly tense. Telling Harry she had decided on 'everything' was weighing on her mind. Not that she wanted to change her mind, she just wondered how suddenly and totally he wanted 'everything'. As her thoughts wondered through the many possibilities of 'everything' her computer binged.

_**FROM: Harry Pearce**_

_**SUBJECT; RE: RE: RE: Your directive.**_

_**TO: Ruth Evershed**_

_**I believe 'everything' should begin with dinner tonight.**_

_**H.**_

Before she knew what she was doing her reply was winging its way across the ether.

_**FROM: Ruth Evershed**_

_**SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: Your directive.**_

_**TO: Harry Pearce**_

_**Just dinner?**_

She was willing it still in her drafts folder, she was willing it unsent and untyped and unconsidered. What would he think she was suggesting? What was she suggesting? The initial thought had been one wondering if he was expecting everything all on the first night. But to type it and send it. _My god, Ruth!_

Harry wasn't sure how to respond. Was she flirting with him? Was this as suggestive as his trousers were telling him! He persuaded himself she was perhaps thinking about a drink, or a show, or something before dinner, not after, _don't think about after._

_**FROM: Harry Pearce**_

_**SUBJECT; RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Your directive.**_

_**TO: Ruth Evershed**_

_**What are you suggesting Ruth? Drinks first?**_

_Oh, thank god, that was all he thought_! She breathed a deep sigh of relief and posted her reply.

_**Yes, absolutely. **_

_**Sorry, Ruth but that might be pushing it as I've a meeting with the HS at 7pm. How about we leave the drink for another night and just do dinner tonight.**_

_**Okay, Harry. Just dinner.**_

They both sat and looked at their screens and wondered if they meant 'just dinner', ie with dinner with no drinks, or 'just dinner', ie. dinner with nothing to follow.

Both wondered whether they felt relieved or disappointed if it was the later. Secretly they both concluded it was disappointed.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to the Home Secretary they had resolved to meet at the restaurant. Ruth was grateful, she thought it would be easier than Harry picking her up at hers and any awkwardness there.

And so she sat in the restaurant bar, waiting.

And waiting.

In fact she was even glad of the waiting. It let her consume a couple of large glasses of wine, Chilean courage, she decided.

Eventually she heard the voice at the door and she felt her adrenaline surge, her heart rate increase and the blood rush to her face. She thought she was too old for all of this but her body disagreed.

Harry walked around the corner and saw her. "I'm sorry, I'm late, he just wouldn't shut up."

Ruth laughed, "You got away in the end though, obviously."

He had managed to change and shower, he smelt wonderful and looked particularly attractive in a blue open necked shirt, black jeans and a jacket.

He felt her eyes running across him as he stepped from the door and sat on the stool besides her.

"You look lovely," he said and dared to lean across and kiss her on the cheek.

She blushed and looked away.

"I suppose you've had a drink?" he asked.

"Just a small one," she lied.

"Thought you might have started without me, or even given up on me," he said not wanting to ever take his eyes from her.

"You must be worth waiting for," she ventured.

He smiled, "I hope you'll still be saying that later," he meant after dinner, "I mean after dinner, you know, I hope I'll be good company over dinner."

"I know what you meant, Harry."

Fortunately the waiter arrived to show them to their table and avoid further embarrassment.

Sometime after their main course Ruth asked the question that would not leave her alone.

"Harry I think we need to talk about what exactly you mean by 'everything'."

Ruth had had enough wine now to be able to say things like that. He hadn't.

"What I mean is, well, I don't know what I mean, and I'm not sure what you mean."

"Everything, Ruth. I don't know what there is to not understand."

"Marriage?"

"Well, yes I meant marriage."

"Can we kind of build up to that and see how we get on?"

"Yes, Ruth, I think that sounds reasonable, as long as you're open to the idea, this time."

"Yes, Harry, get your timing right and I promise I'll be open to the idea."

He smiled, "anything else?"

"Work?"

"We keep doing what we do, but we do it together and when we go home at night I would like to think that at some point we'll be going home together." He looked hopefully at her.

She nodded.

"Sex?"

Harry's wine went down the wrong way and he started coughing.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes….yes fine," he said between huge gulps of water.

"Sex," he eventually repeated quietly.

"Yes," she said, wondering if perhaps she shouldn't have had that last refill.

"Would be nice," ventured Harry, not quite knowing what else to say.

"Can you wait?"

"How long, Ruth?"

She looked edgy and he began to worry.

"You mean until you agree to marry me?" he said, apprehensively.

"No!" she said rather loudly. They both looked around.

"No," she whispered, "I just meant, well, I thought that if 'everything' started tonight then you might be expecting something ….you know…tonight."

He took her hand and gazed at her, "Ruth, it had never crossed my mind. Tonight is dinner and as for the rest, then whenever you want, what ever you want, I'll be guided by you. Okay?"

She nodded, relieved and disappointed.

"Now is there anything else, or are you going to quiz me about every aspect of having a relationship with you?"

"No, interrogation over."

"And will I do?" he asked cheekily.

"Oh, yes, Harry, you'll do very nicely, thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

The rest of the meal went well. They relaxed. Ruth slowed down her hitherto plunge towards alcoholism. Harry felt relieved that she had not run headlong from him. He always feared it, she had almost bred that in him through experience.

They ordered a cab. When it arrived they left the restaurant and his hand slid around the small of her back as he guided her to the car and then he opened the door, like the gentleman he was, and let her get in.

On the drive back he held her hand and she did not resist.

He suggested going to his for a drink, it was nearby and from there he would order another taxi to take her home. She did not disagreed.

They got out of the cab and Harry paid the driver, as she hovered by his gate. And then he led her to the door, unlocked it and entered the house turning on the lights and heading for the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"Tea, I presume?" he called, "yes, thanks," she answered and wondered what would happen next.

Tea happened next.

They sat in Harry's living room listening to Vaughan Williams and discussing things only connected to work. It was as though they both knew the possibilities but neither wanted to acknowledge them.

"It's been a really lovely evening, Harry."

"Have you enjoyed it, really?"

"Yes, really."

"And is this…is…us...something you are okay with?"

He willed her to say yes.

"I think 'us' is something I'm beginning to love already," she said with a teasing, yet shy smile.

He looked at her and she sensed the same emotion from him she had felt in the corridor at Havensworth, it was a smouldering passion, a need, a desire and it was hard to ignore and even harder to resist.

This time she did not turn away, she did not flee to the shelter of her room. She could not, it was his house, more importantly she did not want to.

He put down his cup, he took hers from her and placed it next to his and then he leant towards her. Inch by inch he shortened the distance, he was in no hurry. And when she could smell the tea and the wine on his breath he leant even closer so that his lips brushed hers and she shivered with the expectancy of it. She pursed her lips, ready to meet his but he teased her, he kept them close but yet not close enough and when she willed them to crush hers, they passed and slid to her ear and enveloped her earlobe, finally drifting back to her lips and then he took them and devoured them and loved them.

"Harry, I…"

"Yes, I'll call the cab," he said between kisses.

They were finding it difficult to stop.

Ruth felt like a teenager who had just discovered the joy of kissing, the totality of it, the freshness of it, the desire elicited from it. And she did not want to stop.

"I told you, Ruth…." he was still kissing her, his lips were soft and full, "it's at your pace….there's no hurry," as the wave of his kisses hit another crescendo, he built her up to another peak of pleasure.

"Yes…." she gasped, between kisses, between waves, "I better go," but she didn't want to.

He manoevered her, without ever stopping his relentless, all encompassing kiss, towards the phone. And as he kissed her still his hand reached down for the receiver.

"Hello," he said. "I'd like a taxi."

She was kissing him, kissing his neck, one hand running up his back, the other nestled at the back of his neck, pulling him towards her.

"Yes, its…" The phone had gone dead. He looked over her shoulder as her kisses never ceased and he saw why, her fingers were on the hook, she had cut him off.

"Ruth?" he said, pulling his face around to hers.

"I don't want to go home, Harry," she said as her lips found his once more.

Their kisses rose and fell as the tide ebbed and flowed and when he could he gasped, "that's okay, I have a spare room." As the next waves crashed towards them both she said, "Bugger the spare room." And not only desire but joy washed over them both and suddenly life seemed very simple and very wonderful.


	11. Chapter 11

"Harry, stop."

"This is not a good moment to ask me to stop, Ruth!"

"Please stop"

"I think it's too late," he said with a groan.

Several moments passed.

"I'm sorry, Ruth."

"So am I, " she said and sighed.

He looked downcast.

"Harry, if you don't realise the right moment it'll never be right."

"I thought it was the right moment."

"Well, it wasn't, clearly."

"Okay, well tell me how I should know the right moment?"

"It's when they're still runny."

"But that's too early."

"No, Harry that's the perfect moment. Turn off the heat and let the pan do the rest, be patient and I promise you the most perfect scrambled eggs in London."

"Okay, I'm going to try again."

"But I'm hungry."

"Sorry, Ruth, but I'd say I've done everything else pretty well and I'd like breakfast to be as good."

"No, Harry, you've done everything else perfectly," she smiled and wound her arms around his waist, dropping her hands lower and lower.

"Good" his voice vibrated, "then I'd like your eggs to be perfect too. Now desist from kissing me woman until I have produced the perfect scrambled egg."


	12. Chapter 12

The morning briefing.

Ruth wasn't listening and neither was Harry. They were concentrating hard on not remembering what had happened the night before. They both had head's filled with images for an adult only audience. When she spoke he heard not her voice but her soft contented moans. When she looked at him she saw not her boss, suited and serious, but his face, filled with desire hovering above her. Neither were listening to anything being said, they did try, but nothing really broke through.

There was a pause in the meeting and they all looked to Harry. He was glazed, staring straight ahead.

"Harry?"

Nothing.

"Harry?"

Nothing.

Lucas continued without him. He moved on to the intel and Ruth.

"Ruth."

She was gazing at her hands.

"Ruth?"

Nothing.

There was silence.

They all waited. Slowly the silence seemed to make some sort of impression on the two and they both slowly and independently looked up wondering why everything was so quiet.

"Sorry?" said Ruth.

"Don't worry about it," said Lucas.

"What has happened to you two?" Dimitri asked, exasperated.

Ruth got up, "we got a room," she said with an enigmatic smile and walked out.

Four pairs of eyes followed her until the door shut, one pair lingered, the other three all turned to Harry.

He smiled and shrugged, "only took seven years," he said, getting up and following her. "Well worth the wait, though," he added and was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

"Harry," Ruth was already half way through his office door, he looked up and beamed at her.

"You really should learn to knock, you know, I might be getting up to all sorts in here,"

"You better not be, not without me, anyway," she sat down in the chair opposite him, thinking it safer that there was distance and a large desk between them.

"Harry."

"Yes."

"I don't think that I can do 'everything' at work. Quite frankly it's just not working, well, actually I'm not working, at all, I can't seem to concentrate on anything other than imagining you and I and when you put your…" she decided to not go any further with that thought, it was distracting her again.

"I just keep imagining…things," she said instead.

"I know."

"Is that it?"

"Yes, I mean, I know what you mean, I keep imagining…things, too. I've managed to concentrate through grief, loss, nightmares with the kids and the most vitriolic divorce but one night with you, Ruth and my mind has gone."

Ruth smiled, feeling rather pleased with herself.

Harry sighed, "It'll be fine though, it's just the novelty. In fact in a couple of weeks you'll be bored with me and settle for a cup of cocoa instead.

Ruth looked at him and her mind went off at a tangent, spiralling into the unseemly, somehow linked around, melted chocolate as opposed to hot chocolate.

She shook her head, "no, that's not going to work."

"Solutions, then?" he asked.

She paused, "let's take a week off."

He looked at her, they were words seldom heard from Ruth's mouth and definitely never with the word 'we' in there.

"Sounds lovely, but how will that help, Ruth?"

"Well, we might get it out of our system."

Harry didn't ask what the 'it' was, he had a fairly good idea.

"That idea just gets better and better," he said with his most seductive smile.

"Harry, stop it,"

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that."

"I can't help it."

"Yes, you can now stop it."

He didn't and so she shut her eyes and continued, "so what do you think?"

"Well, it's relatively quiet here, no major visits coming up, no serious alerts so now's as good a time as any, I'd say. Where would you like to go?"

"I don't think I'd like to go anywhere really," she said, eyes still closed.

"What stay here?"

"Yes, I thought we could stay at yours, I doubt we'll go out that much." she couldn't see the smirk that was began to spread across his face.

"And if everything goes as wonderfully well as I expect it will," he interjected, "then perhaps towards the end of the week we could go to yours and get your things?"

Her eyes opened.

"Move in," he said.

"I thought we were not going to rush anything?" she said.

"Ruth, tomorrow would be a rush, the end of next week is an eternity."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Now, why are you closing your eyes?"

"Because you look very appealing and if I keep looking at you I'm going to be around your side of the desk in seconds and that's not a good idea in an office with a wall of windows!"

"Too late," whispered a husky voice, in her right ear.


	14. Chapter 14

Ruth's eyes opened. Harry's face was the first thing she saw. It had been the last thing she had seen before falling asleep. She smiled.

His face was a concentration of thought and feeling. And imperceptibly he shook his head.

"What is it?" she asked, sleepily.

"Nothing."

"Harry?"

"Really, it's nothing," he smiled, but she was not convinced.

"Please tell me what you're thinking."

He glanced away.

"Please."

"I was thinking how right this feels, how beautiful you are," she went to protest but his kiss stopped her.

"And?" she eventually said.

"And…I was thinking how lucky I am and that I can't believe that you're here with me, and wondering, well, wondering what you see in me."

She laughed and again he looked away.

"Harry," she guided his face back to her, "don't be silly, how can you think that, any of that. I'm here because I want to be, I'm with you because there's no one else in the world that I'd rather be with and as for what I see in you, I don't think we've got the time even if I was to start telling you now and finish at Christmas!"

He smiled, almost shyly.

"Do you still not believe me?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, but it was not convincing.

"Have I made you so very insecure?" she asked.

"A little."

She sighed at how he could still think that and at the same time she blamed only herself.

"Harry, I was happy in Cyprus," he looked away, "but this," she added, "this is on a different level, this is something beyond that, this is so happy that it hurts, that I feel it physically, that the happiness is something overwhelming, and now I feel like it's an addiction, you and the happiness, I'm addicted to both, they're intertwined and I don't think I can go on anymore without either."

She looked at him, soul gaping wide.

"Do you understand, Harry?"

He nodded.

"But…"

"But, what?" she asked, knowing something more was worrying him.

"Ruth, I'm older than you."

"That's why you're head of Section D, superb observational skills," she was trying to lighten his spirit, it wasn't working.

"I'm older than you," he picked up, seriously, "and Ruth, I will, in all probability die before you, whether by bullet, bomb or just old age. Is that fair on you, do you want that, is it maybe not better to stop this now before we get any closer and that gets even harder?"

"No, I don't want that. Of course not. But I can't stop this now and neither can you. I don't want to, it's taken us so long to get to here and I'm not willing to exchange that for anything. If you are saying to me would I rather not love you and remain unhurt, or would I rather love you and feel as I do, feel the enormity of what I do, then I'd choose to feel everytime. I've chosen the opposite too much in my life and now I know that I'd rather have a moment of pure pleasure and happiness with you, Harry Pearce, than a lifetime of refusing you. Yes, you'll die, so will I and I can't imagine how that will feel right now but I'm not willing to trade this for not hurting. I love you too much for that."

He looked at her and he truly did not know what to say, he didn't have the words and if he had found the words he did not believe he would have the voice to speak them, for he was filled with an emotion that overwhelmed him and surprised him and overjoyed him and so he did the only thing left to him to do. He kissed her.


	15. Chapter 15

"Is that the last?" he asked, out of breath.

"Yes, I think it is," she said, her arms full of bin liners.

"Thank god," he put the heavy box down, "I think your belongings are twenty percent clothes and eighty percent books, Ruth."

"Sounds about right," she said and laughed, "let's just hope you've got enough space, shelf wise and wardrobe wise."

"Not sure about either," he said, "maybe you'll have to keep everything in boxes in the attic."

"You can join them then."

"Relegated from my own house and you're hardly through the door."

"Okay, I'll let you stay," she smiled and as he put the box down she wound her arms around him, "seeing as how I like you a little."

"This morning you loved me a lot and now you only like me a little, Ruth?"

"Ah well, a woman can change her mind," she teased.

"And will you?" he asked, but in his heart he wasn't joking and she knew it.

"No, Harry, of course I won't."

"Are you really sure about this, Ruth, really?"

She shook her head, 'What have I got to do to convince you?" she said, slightly exasperated.

"I'm sorry," he said, "ignore me. I'm just too happy and I don't want this to change, Ruth."

"Everything changes, Harry."

He looked worried.

"But as for us, I think it will only ever change for the better."

And she kissed him to prove it.

"Harry, what's your biggest worry about us?"

He thought for a long time.

"My god, are there that many?" she asked.

He laughed, "No, I was just trying to answer honestly".

"Go on then."

"My biggest worry…..is that I'll wake up one morning and you won't be there beside me," he declared finally.

"Well, I might not," she replied, "but that just means I'll be making you the best scrambled eggs on toast that London has ever seen."

"That's good, Ruth. I'll hold you to that."

The light shone in her eyes as at work, with the look that usually meant she had discovered some new thread of evidence, some new secret, "Harry, is that why you're always awake before me, making sure I'm still there?"

He nodded, reluctantly.

She shook her head.

"Come on, I've just remembered there's another box of books on the back seat."

He groaned and followed her to the car, though if she'd said there were another twenty boxes of books he would have been more than happy to find room for them all.

Harry opened his eyes. There was a head shaped depression where her head used to be and was no longer. He looked around the bedroom. He listened for sounds from the bathroom.

"Ruth" he called.

He got up and wondered into the hallway, his senses searching, craving for some sign of her.

He called again.

There was, as before, no answer.

He walked into the kitchen, hoping for eggs to be on the stove, hoping for her to be watchful over them, hoping for a relief to his fear, an end to his sense of forboding.

The kitchen was empty.

The house was empty.

She was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry sat on the sofa. Slumped. Defeated. Lost.

Convinced that the thing he had feared most had come to pass.

She was gone.

He was left.

"Ruth," he called in vain.

He had remained there, half dressed until he was cold. He didn't notice he was cold. He noticed nothing but the silence and the emptiness.

Her clothes. He suddenly thought and went to check if she had taken them with her. As he entered the bedroom two things caught his attention, the first was the desolation of the room without her, the second was a piece of paper propped next to his side of the bed, that he'd failed to notice before.

A note, he thought.

The dreaded note.

A note with his name on it.

The note that would begin, 'I'm sorry but …"

He sat on the side of the bed and took a deep breath and then he opened it.

'Harry, if you can make the time, come and find me. R.'

There was no sorry, there was no but. His spirits lifted somewhat. If I can make the time, how could I not make the time for her, he thought, but where was he to meet her and when and why?

He got dressed and without ever knowing where he was going he left the house.


	17. Chapter 17

**Last chapter of this never ending story, pos epilogue, who knows?**

* * *

He went to her house.

He went to the Grid.

He went to the Embankment.

He went to the Millennium Bridge.

There was no sign of her.

He stood and looked at the river. He always did. He always sought the answer there.

Of course he had time for her. How could she ever think otherwise.

And then he knew.

It was so simple.

As fast as he could, he made his way downriver, to Greenwich.

He sat on the bench, they had often sat on, the bench where he had told her there would always be something between them.

Something, he thought, then everything, now nothing.

He waited. He stood. He paced. He sat.

And then he saw it.

Between the slats of the bench. He reached underneath and ripped the brown envelope away and opened it, still apprehensive.

'_Sorry, Harry didn't want to be 'mean'. Watch out and you'll see me.'_

Very funny, Ruth.

He looked up river and down, seeking her out. And then he looked across the river. The observatory. And he knew where she was.

Harry stood by Harrison's chronometer and admired its workmanship, admired the impact that the super sized fob watch had had. With this one beautiful piece of work the success of the Royal Navy had been guaranteed, the history of the nation had changed. The power over navigation, the ability to sail a true course, the original sat nav of its day. It always inspired him. He circled away as others came to marvel, his eyes on alert for the slightest hint of her. He glanced out of the window and there she was. Below, sitting on the grass, enjoying the sunshine.

Before the next tick of the clock he was out of the room.

Striding across the grass he reached her.

"Morning, Harry," she smiled.

"Ruth, what's going on?"

"It's a beautiful day for it."

"For what, running around London half scared to death?"

"Only half?" she said teasingly.

"Half's bad enough," he answered somewhat sulkily.

"Harry, sit down, enjoy some sunshine."

He did. She kissed him on the cheek, his only response a sullen grunt.

"What's going on, Ruth?"

"You tell me."

"I don't know."

"Then work it out, that's what you're good at."

"No, Ruth, that's what you're good at."

"Well, maybe some of my influence will rub off and you too will be able to figure it out." She stretched back onto the grass with a delicate moan of pleasure as she felt the first real warm rays of spring begin to warm her.

Harry sat grumpily.

"You've made me chase across London looking for you, wondering where the hell you were, wondering if you'd gone, if you were coming back, knowing that it was the thing that I was most frightened of, that you'd change your mind and go. Oh, right," he said the light suddenly dawning, "that's what this is about, teaching me a lesson, isn't it? What a lesson about my insecurities?"

She said nothing but smiled slightly.

"You're trying to make me realise, what? That you might not be there but that doesn't mean you've gone? That you won't go?"

"Perhaps."

"But why here?"

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't just choose somewhere without reason, I know you, you'd have to pick somewhere relevant, somewhere for you to make your bloody point, whatever the hell that is, Ruth. So why Greenwich? What lesson are you trying to teach me?"

And then he started laughing.

It was so obvious.

"Timing. You're teaching me a lesson in timing."

He looked at her, her eyes closed, a smile on her face, her head lolling back resting in the crook of her arm, as she lay in the sunshine.

He leant back besides her. She kept her eyes closed. And then she felt his breath on her cheek.

"Marry me, Ruth," he whispered.

"Okay," she answered, eyes still closed.

She could here the smile in his voice, "When?" he asked.

She smiled.

"About ten past two."

"What?"

She opened her eyes and saw the bewilderment on his face.

"Well, what do you think I've been doing all morning, Harry?"

"You want to marry me today?"

"Why wait."

"How have you had time to organised that?"

She closed her eyes again.

"Oh, friends in high places, you know how it is," she smiled enigmatically.

"Where?"

"Here, in Greenwich, seemed kind of appropriate, you know…timely."

"But I haven't got a ring."

"Well, we better get shopping then, hadn't we?" she said and glanced cheekily at him.

"Bugger the shopping, I've got better things to do with my time," he said and he reached over and kissed her.

She pulled away, "Harry, you better make time, a girl always needs time for shopping."

And she jumped up and held out her hand to him.

"Come on, I've got a ring finger without a ring."

And she pulled him up off the grass.

"Time to get your wallet out, Mr Pearce."

"Am I going to regret this?" he said smiling.

Her face turned serious.

"Oh, no, Harry, not for one second. And maybe after this afternoon, I'll finally make you realise that I'm going nowhere."

He smiled and he understood.

"Except Paris," he whispered.

She looked at him, her face eager and happy.

"Don't worry," he added, I'll clear it with your boss, "Time for some more time off, I think, Ruth."

She grinned.

"That's it Harry, you're timing has improved remarkably."

"I know," he said and took her hand.


	18. Chapter 18

**And finally the end, even though part of me thinks that I could keep harping on ad infinitum!

* * *

**

_Epilogue_

Harry walked onto the grid, Ruth went to organise something at her desk.

"Lucas."

"Hi, Harry. Good week off?"

"Yes, very good, thank you. Has everything been okay here."

"Yes, the world's terrorists must have decided to have the week off too," laughed Lucas.

"Well, let's hope they're having a fortnight," said Harry laughing with him.

Lucas stopped laughing, "What, you're having another week off? Both of you?"

"Both of us," said Ruth coming to join them.

"I've cleared it with the DG," added Harry.

"He must have gone into shock, bet he's never had a holiday request from either of you, let alone at the same time for a whole fortnight."

"Yes, well, he did look a little pale."

"Going anywhere nice?" asked Tariq.

"Paris," said Harry.

"Very romantic," dared Lucas, Tariq had thought it but didn't quite dare.

"One does one's best," said Harry with a slight smirk.

Dimitri walked onto the grid.

"Managed to make it out the bedroom then?" he said.

Tariq gasped.

Lucas glared.

Ruth held her breath.

They all waited for Harry's reaction.

"Yes, thank you. Mr Levendes," he said, guiding Ruth towards the pods, "but only as far as the church," he reached for her hand and felt the ring upon it, "and now if you'll excuse us, I'm taking her back to the aforementioned bedroom. Look after the kids, Lucas."

And as the pod doors slid shut, Harry turned to a smiling Ruth, before kissing her lovingly and steering her away from Thames House.

Dimitri and Tariq stood aghast . Lucas smiled and turned away.

"You heard the boss, let's get some work done, children."

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**Hope you enjoyed and thanks for the reviews.**


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